A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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