Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
