I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
