it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
