She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
