Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think my moral compass just broke
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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