You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
