just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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