It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
