Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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