If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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