in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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