Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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