the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
