If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
