Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
