Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
