And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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