is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
