see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
