Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
