Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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