Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
