dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
