i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
