i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
