Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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