Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
