Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
