Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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