Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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