you guys were way drunker than both of me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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