We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
