ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
