Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
