Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
