soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
