I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
