dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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