I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
