i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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