I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
