Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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