I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
