Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
