ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Randomize
