Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
