It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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