it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
