then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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