you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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