I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We are all done wearing pants today
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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