scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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