I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
