I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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