That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Terrible idea I love it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
