I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
