dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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