if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize