And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
