Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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